Iron Man 2 < Iron Man. But Downey's Still One Cool Son-of-a-Bitch

I'm going to be completely honest with you in this post.  That's right, the man is shedding his mask that he's so notorious for having and being as candid as humanly possible.  I really thought Iron Man 2 would shock and awe me with its superior awesomeness and shockfulness.  I went into the theater to catch a 10:30 AM showing on the Friday it came out with unbelievably high hopes that this movie could somehow trump the fun and all-around great time the first Iron Man was.  I left the theater, though, with only one word in mind: ehhhhhhhhhh. There was just too much stuff going on.  The first movie made me focus on Downey and just Downey and how he absolutely owned the role of Iron Man like no other actor has owned a superhero role before.  I guess the screenwriter--who kind of miffed on this one with teeth-clenching lines like "get a roof"--thought that the audience didn't want to focus on just Iron Man since they did it in the first one.  When Downey was on the screen I was like yeah! all right! be my father Robert Downey, Jr.! But it would shift to how Gwyneth Paltrow's reprised character was dealing with all of this unwanted stress, or how Don Cheadle's character was another Iron Man.  I loved Sam Rockwell and Mickey Rourke; you could even say that Rourke stole the whole movie.  I don't really know what I think of this film as an individual movie.  Obviously, everyone's going to see it because the first Iron Man was that good.  This one, while still visually stunning, just didn't do it for me like I thought it would.

Rating: LET-DOWN JOINT

Chick of the Flick - Scarlett Johansson

Ohhhhhhh man.  First appearance for ScarJo on Joints and Flicks?  Well, it had to happen some day and I'm tickled pink that today is that day.  If I said more it'd be completely ignored because there's a picture of Scarlett Johansson right below this.  Enjoy.

Song of the Flick - Highway to Hell - AC/DC

So this video may be a DEAD giveaway as to what movie I'll be reviewing on this beautiful Thursday, but I don't really care. And I'm also a rebel and won't blatantly say what I'm reviewing. Yeah, stay strong, blogger, stay strong...


Anyway, here's Highway to Hell by AC/DC, a song that I will always just rock out to.

MEMENTO. The Movie That's Backwards!

Remember when you saw The Dark Knight and thought about how incredibly and darkly awesome it was? Or when you saw The Prestige and you were shocked and awed by the revealing plot twist that Christian Bale had a twin brother? (Yeah, I just ruined that movie for those who haven't seen it.  If you haven't seen it, why the hell haven't you seen it?)  Well, what if you couldn't remember seeing these movies at all, even though you saw them recently?  It just so happens that those two movies were made by the same man responsible for Memento, a thriller-mystery starring the ridiculously handsome Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss, and the annoyingly talented Joe Pantoliano.  A memento is something that reminds you of a person or event, and that's exactly what the main character, Leonard, needs every time he does basically anything.  He has anterograde amnesia due to a blow to the skull he received during an accident involving the rape and murder of his wife.  You don't know what anterograde amnesia is? Jesus Christ, have you been living underneath a rock for the entirety of your life?  Well, for the idiots out there, anterograde amnesia is obviously short-term memory loss, and throughout the entire movie, Leonard depends on polaroid pictures, tattoos, and little notes he wrote to himself so he can function as soundly as he possibly can.  The whole movie is told in reverse, starting with the murder of some guy and ending with...sorry, can't tell you, it might ruin it.  The joint is extremely intriguing and script is unbelievably clever.  If true, creative story-telling was the only reason a movie could be praised, this would be on the top of the list.  See Memento, it's fantastic.

Rating: TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick - Carrie-Anne Moss

I know what you're thinking.  Who in God's name is Carrie-Anne Moss? Okay, I understand.  Carrie-Anne might be a little bit out of her prime.  Perhaps she never even had a prime and just happened to look good in shiny leather next to Keanu Reeves in The Matrix.  *collective realization*  Yep, she's the girl from The Matrix.  But today's movie is NOT The Matrix.  Nor is it Disturbia, in which she plays a supporting role as Shia LeBeouf's unfortunate mother.  Today's movie is.......

Song of the Flick

It feels soooooo good to be back in the blogosphere, my friends.  It's been far too long.  This hiatus, which I'm sure has prompted my vast amount of readers to have suicidal thoughts because they simply can't live without my written word, has come to an end.  I was doing hard time for stealing pixie sticks from  this four-year-old girl who rubbed me the wrong way.  She had it coming.  They didn't have WiFi in jail and I kept trying to escape to get to an Internet cafe because I knew how much you wanted me.  Alas, it made my stay in the joint a little longer than I would've liked, but it was all worth it because I did it for YOU. Yes, you.  Now while you ponder whether this actually happened, listen to this song I discovered while I was doing bench-press sets with Stabby Joe.  He slapped his wife with a spatula and got a year for assault.

Here's B.O.B. and Eminem with Airplanes Part II.

Zombieland - A Deadly Fun Time! Too Cheesy? Oh, Well...

So this movie kicks some serious ass in more ways than one. First, it stars Woody Harrelson as a zombie-killer virtuoso who lives life every second as if it were his last. Oh, and he gets high. Obviously.  Second, it stars that kind of lame kid from Adventureland who's always good for a laugh-at rather than a laugh-due-to-a-joke.  Sort of a poor man's Michael Cera.  Third, the aforementioned Emma Stone and the talented, but kind of frumpy Abigail Breslin play a sister duo who also kill zombies.  And they're pretty smart.  Add all this up with one of the funnest and most original screenplays I've encountered, a director who clearly doesn't care how seriously he's taken, and a Bill Murray scene which might have stolen the show had it not been for the fact that the whole rest of the flick was fantastic, and you get grisly, hilarious cinematic fare.  See Zombieland because it's harmless and it's a good time. Nothing too profound, here, folks. Just pure fun.

Rating: TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick

Remember that girl from Superbad (tight joint) who the fat one really wants and you weren't too sure whether she was hot or not? Well, since then, Emma Stone (her name) has been dolled up a little bit more, feeding off the Hollywood fuel that forces her to look better every single day. And she looks pretty damn good. A little Christina Hendricks in there, perhaps? Check it.

Song of the Flick

It's been a while, and I'm confident that my millions upon millions of readers are near the point of killing themselves due to lack of Joints and Flicks. Well, don't you worry, devoted followers, I've returned from twiddling my thumbs and watching re-runs of Seinfeld on TBS.com. Seriously, they have them there.

Anyway, here's a song that literally just graced my aural senses and I've been loving it's cheesiness, star-power, and overall obnoxiousness. This is Winner by Jamie Foxx with Justin Timberlake and T.I.

The Informant! My, Oh My, How Enticing That Exclamation Point Is.

Steven Soderbergh, one of my favorites, adapts the nonfiction novel written by Kurt Eichenwald entitled "The Informant." Clearly, Scott Z. Burns, writer of the screenplay, went deep, down into the caverns of his creative soul to come up with a catchy title. "The Informant!", a dark comedy directed by Soderbergh and starring Matt Damon with a few burgers in the ole gut, is a fascinating and awkwardly hilarious recount of this big Mark Whitacre illegality fiasco that happened throughout the mid-90's. Damon plays Whitacre who is the "Informant!", the enthusiastic, incredibly smart, and eerily fantastic-at-lying whistle blower for the company AMD, which does something with corn or whatever. The investigation and Whitacre's role in it is the catalyst for the storyline, but the movie, like its title states with zeal, is all about Whitacre. Whitacre narrates, and the camera never gets off his pudgy, mustachio'd face. And what a character to watch. Damon is fantastic, and so is everyone else. The film's a little slow-paced as it depends on actual, fact-based material, so bare with it. It's a good time watching Damon put on a clinic and Soderbergh having as much fun as he can when it comes to presenting an FBI informant about a biochemistry company. See it if you think you're intellectual enough. Was that pompous? It might've been. But, seriously.


Rating: TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick.

So I was watching ESPN today, and who else comes on the screen that instantly catches my attention but Erin Andrews? I mean, she's so God damn knowledgable about sports and all that I just can't take my eyes off her when she comes on. Really, what she knows is hypnotizing. So smart. Lotta smarts, that one. Here she is.

Song of the Flick

So, what's the latest jam? What's the new noise all of the kids are bouncin' around too in their SUV's and Miatas? I'll tell you what, it's Big Sean and his song Way Out featuring Mr. Hudson! All right! Let 'er rip.

Shutter Island, Leo back with the Bahston Accent

Okay, so the main thing I gleamed from this movie was NOT the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio re-embraced his inner Bostonian. It was that Martin Scorsese directed this dark, gloomy thriller with a wicked grin on his face. Shutter Island, which opened last Friday and had a hell of a weekend, had been pushed back over and over again. It was worth the wait. From the ominous, heartpumping score to the dreariness of the island and its inhabitants, Scorsese takes Dennis Lehane's novel and immortalizes it, pleasing and spooking viewers with memorable characters and a killer twist at the end. I know people who hated it, but I know more that loved it, and, clearly, the people who hated it were stupid. Stupid, stupid. Nah, just kidding. This movie isn't for everyone. But if you want to see Leo bring back Billy Costigan but with an actual badge and Mark Ruffalo as his sidekick, see it. Oh, and Sir Ben Kingsley is unreal. That didn't even have to be said.

Rating: TIGHT JOINT.

Chick of the Flick - Michelle Williams

Not your usual supermodel beauty of an actress, but Miss Williams definitely gets it done. With oodles of talent to boot, Michelle Williams scintillates and creeps the absolute crap out of me in today's movie. Here...she...is...

Song of the Flick

Besides a ridiculously creepy score filled with tense and deep bass, today's pick doesn't have much to offer in terms of actual good songs. So, once again, I take advantage of the power bestowed unto me by my virtual superior, Mr. or Mrs. Blogger, and will show y'all a song I've been playin' non-stop on the old iPod. It's a mash-up off of one of DJ Moondance's brilliant mixtapes. Here's "Jimi Boys" off Moondance's "The Crash Album." Yep, Jay-Z and Dave Matthews mashed together. Pretty God damn great.

Crazy Heart, One of the Greatest Movies I've Seen

This is one of the greatest movies I've seen. Think The Wrestler mixed with The Big Lebowski and throw in the Western beauty of No Country for Old Men. Jeff Bridges gives the performance Mickey Rourke gave last year, except he did it better, even though his life story doesn't parallel with the role he played. He's a down-on-his-luck country singer, living off the fumes of his past fame and fortune, touring, boozing, and smoking by himself as he travels around the American West. The script is phenomenal, oozing with Western charm and fantastic dialogue. Maggie Gyllenhall is a great supporting talent, making the chemistry between a thirty-year-old woman and a sixty-year-old slob work perfectly. The movie's filled with amazing shots, from vast nature shots to simple, delicate personal shots of the characters. The film's still in theaters, since it's getting all the buzz for Bridges' Oscar nomination (and future win.) It's amazing to me why the movie did not get nominated for best picture; it's not the most original screenplay of all time, but the film was made so perfectly that it's hard to not recognize it. See it in the theaters while you can. It's a special, special movie.

Rating: TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick

Maggie Gyllenhall doesn't really make the cut for me. So here's an actress I have an insane, stupid, ridiculous crush on. Yep. Jennifer Aniston. Not the most talented broad, but my God, she is beautiful.

Song of the Flick - Weary Kind

Today's pick actually has a song in it that not only will win the Oscar for Best Song, but will go down in history as one of the best songs written for a movie. Weary Kind by Ryan Bingham is both slow and fast, emotional and distant, nostalgic and youthful. Listen in.




Kind of a giveaway of what today's pick is, but I'll let the not-so-intellectual think about it.

When Harry Met Sally, the Ultimate Rom-Com

I posted earlier on this blog that 500 Days of Summer was the perfect rom-com. Well, here's the ultimate rom-com. Yeah, there's a difference. Rob Reiner directs an always funny Billy Crystal and a cutesie Meg Ryan in this 1989 instant classic. It starts with the pair meeting serendipitously on a college campus; Crystal has to get a ride in Ryan's station wagon from Chicago to New York. The long haul on the road provides the spark for the movie and the subsequent friendship, which, you guessed it, leads to a romance. The script is clever, the supporting cast is great; I really enjoyed this movie and I think you will too. See it.

Rating: TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick - Meg Ryan?

Eh? Meg Ryan, huh. Not the best, but she's pretty cute in today's movie. And if you haven't figured it out yet, it is a romantic comedy to prematurely celebrate Valentine's Day. I figure that the huge masses of men who read this blog could use a good movie to watch with a loved one. Anyway, here's Meg Ryan looking perfectly rom-com-like.

Song of the Flick

Today's pick is semi-old school. Well, old school enough for cause to put a song here that's not in the film, but, rather, a song that I've discovered and immediately loved. Kid Cudi is one of my favorite artists right now; here's his remix of Symphonies by Dan Black.

25th Hour, the First Spike Lee JOINT to Grace This Blog

Spike Lee directs this underrated gem. And Spike's leading man is white?!? WHAT?!? Just messin', I'm not knockin' Spike at all, Ed Norton is one of my favorite actors right now and he kills it in this super-tense drama about a man's final hours before he heads to jail. It's full of stars like Rosario (see below), Philip Seymour Hoffman, Brian Cox, Anna Paquin, my man Barry Pepper, and the list goes on. It's a class Spike Lee film with all the commentary layered under a simple and brilliant plot. The acting's great, the filming's great, and everything just felt right. The movie doesn't move too quickly, so bear with it. But everyone should give it a chance because it's great. It made Ebert's top ten of the decade list?? What?? Yeah, and he knows a thing or too. Unlike me, who just reads Ebert than echoes that opinion for a younger generation. Did I say that? See 25th Hour!

Rating: INAUGURAL ACTUAL TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick - ROSARIO DAWSON

Rosario Dawson. 'Nuff said.

Song of the Flick - Irish Celebration

All right, I've decided that if there isn't a song I absolutely love from my pick of the day, I'm just going to throw a song out there that I really like and everyone else should like too. It's just how this world should be. Here's Macklemore and Ryan Lewis reppin' that Irish pride I bear so well. IRISH CELEBRATION. And there's some Irish stuff in the pick so I'm not totally off.

LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN, A Crafty, Star-Studded Affair.

Paul McGuigan, before he directed the absolutely abysmal "Push," had the extreme fortune of coming across Jason Smilovic's dynamite script and making the awesome, star-studded LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN. Along with the always likable Josh Hartnett and Lucy Liu, we see Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Ben Kingsley, Stanley Tucci, and, my man, Mykelti Williamson (He played Bubba in Forrest Gump). What's not to like here? The plot involves Josh Hartnett's character, oddly named Slevin, who gets mixed up in this whole ordeal involving Morgan Freeman's family and Ben Kingsley's family, and neither of these families handle ordeals without violence. That's a double negative, so I paint a pretty clear picture. Think Guy Ritchie, but with Americans, and less clever dialogue, but an equally clever plot. It goes back and forth from star to star, and it's an absolute joy to watch. SEE IT.

Rating: TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick - LUCY LIU

The pride of Taiwan hits the always relevant airwaves of JOINTS AND FLICKS. Our first Asian! All right! She's absolutely beautiful, by the way. And she's in my next pick, whodathunk?

Song of the Flick - THE KANSAS CITY SHUFFLE

Oh, yes. j. Ralph hits us with the Kansas City Shuffle. What a classy jam this is, and it's absolutely vital to my next pick. So listen to it as a prerequisite for the next flick, okay?

THE USUAL SUSPECTS, Spacey's Tour de Force With a Famous Twist

Bryan Singer, perhaps more known for his direction for the X-MEN franchise, brings this brilliant script penned by Christopher McQuarrie to the screen back in '95. It's definitely a macho joint that makes you think and those types of movies are right up my alley. Consider this movie the antithesis of any standard romantic comedy. There's no romance, not even flirting, no women to speak of, the plot's not predictable, and, oh yeah, its an actual good movie. The plot goes a little like this: a boat has been destroyed, criminals are dead, and the key to this mystery lies with the only survivor and his twisted, convoluted story beginning with five career crooks in a seemingly random police lineup. That lone survivor is Kevin Spacey in an absolutely AMAZING performance. The rest of 'em aren't too bad either. Gabriel Byrne. Benicio. One of the Baldwin brothers. This movie's a fun time, so I'll leave you with one of its most famous lines. WHO IS KEYSER SOZE?!?!?

Chick of the Flick

And, once again, this pick doesn't have a stand-out female beauty, unless your taste involves the likes of Suzy Amis. Yikes. Here's another Brit that I'm falling in love with pretty rapidly. And now I'm in love. Rosie Jones.

Song of the Flick

The next pick has a soundtrack that is just purely score, so, once again, I'm gonna give you a great song that's not in the movie but should be in your earbuds soon. B.O.B. with I'll Be In The Sky

THE BROTHERS BLOOM, Confidence and Cons, Slickly Wrapped Together

Rian Johnson writes and directs this smart and pleasant con-movie. This isn't your regular heist thriller with crazy gadgets and big bad men kicking serious ass. This movie's all about the brain and its enormous range. Mark Ruffalo and Adrien Brody play the notorious Bloom brothers, who, together, are the greatest thieves in the world. Their next target? Rachel Weisz, a socially challenged heiress with so much money and materials she doesn't know what to do, so she does everything, which makes for great entertainment. I honestly think everyone would like this movie, so what are you waiting for? Go see it. Right now.

Chick of the Flick - Rachel Weisz

Rachel looks amazing in today's film, and her performance is just as good. Check out the talented, the beautiful, the British, Rachel Weisz.

Song of the Flick

Once again, no song from my next pick particularly strikes me as jam-worthy, so I'm gonna throw a song that maybe fits with the next movie? Perhaps? Whatever, I'm giving surfer dude Donavon Frankenreiter a shout out. Here's What'Cha Know About.

LOCK, STOCK, AND TWO SMOKING BARRELS - Long title, dope movie.

Guy Ritchie absolutely splattered on the movie scene with this slick film that utilizes entertaining cockney accents and a brilliant script. The ensemble cast is great, including a Guy Ritchie favorite Jason Statham, and the plot involves cards, robbery, marijuana, and non-sequiturs. One of the most entertaining movies I've seen in a while; Guy Ritchie's one my favorite directors right now. Short post, I know. Deal with it. See this flick or I'll hunt you down. Not really though.

Rating: TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick - Melissa Satta

Along with the whole song thing, there are no notable women in this film that I would deem a "Chick of the Flick." This is a meritocracy, after all. So here's a girl that's been poppin' up on everyone's radar lately, stolen directly from my boys over at Barstool Sports, I give you, Melissa Satta.

Song of the Flick

All right, today's movie has no songs in it that I've ever heard and I'm too lazy to listen to all the songs and decide what my favorite is. Here's a Chamillionaire track with a sample from the famous "Free Fallin'" by Tom Petty, entitled "Good Morning". A little bit of the past mixed with the urbane music of the present.

GOODBYE SOLO, A Somber Yet Engaging Indie Drama

Ramin Bahrani brings a truly classic American tale to the indie table, working with a rookie actor and a silver screen vet. Goodbye Solo involves a Senegalese cab driver named Solo, played by a charismatic and talented newcomer Souleymane Sy Savane, and a random, aging client of his named William, played by a gruff Red West. This movie is anything but thrilling, but its filled with Bahrani's signature shots and subtle contrast that has been so prevalent with the young director, who Roger Ebert praises as America's most talented young director. The plot is deep with internal emotions, examining a young man whose American dream is about to begin, while watching with pity as another man's stars to fade away. This movie isn't for everyone, but it became one of 2009's favorites as a non-studio flick. I loved it, but I recommend it with caution. Go in knowing that you'll be pleasantly surprised by a lovable Solo, but solemnly reminded of the loneliness that sometimes accompanies old age.

Rating: SOMBER TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick - ZOE SALDANA?!?

No, I won't be talking about Avatar since everyone clearly knows that it's a must-see. I'm putting up Zoe Saldana purely because I want to, since there are no stand-outs in today's movie. I give you, the gorgeous, talented, and arguably hottest Na'Vi ever created: Zoe Saldana.

Song of the Flick - KIDS by CHIDDY BANG

All right, first of all I have to apologize to the trillions of souls out there who've been wondering so anxiously where I've been since Wednesday. My laptop's under a little duress right now so I've been hijacking MacBooks, Dells, HPs, etc. as of late, and I finally got my hands on a good one today.

So, today's movie pick apparently doesn't have a soundtrack you can locate anywhere, so I'll take this opportunity to show off my personal favorite song of '09: Chiddy Bang's take on MGMT's Kids

FACE/OFF, John Woo's Brilliantly F'ed Up Thriller

After watching the John Woo-directed (of Mission Impossible 2 fame, another crazy film) Face/Off with John Travolta and Nicolas Cage, I came to the conclusion that the joint had at least 47 WTF moments. Not WTF as in "where's the fungi?", not WTF as in "wendy's too fat"; WTF as in WHAT THE F**K!!!!!! Yeah, I probably screamed that 47 times while viewing. But, in this case, these moments were good things, spectacular things, in fact, as Face/Off is probably as entertaining as any film I've ever watched. Travolta plays this FBI agent named Shawn Archer, who's obsessed with tracking down this absolutely psychotic criminal named Castor Troy, played by Cage, who was clearly on LSD for the role. So what's the obvious play here? Yep, switch faces with your arch-nemesis. The plot is absurd, ABSURD, I tell you, but it makes for cinematic gold as Travolta ends up playing Cage's original character for the majority of the movie, and vice versa. Pretty crazy stuff right? There are even more twists and turns that I shan't reveal now, so I beg you to watch this movie if you're in the mood to be wowed by action and ridiculous storylines.

Rating: WTF TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick - Gina Gershon

Not a lot of crop coming from the next movie, but Gina Gershon will have to do. She looks pretty damn good here.

Song of the Flick - Don't Lose Your Head - INXS

All right, I'm shaking things up. Gonna put the two little posts before the big ole movie post. Crazy, I know. Here's the song of today's flick, Don't Lose Your Head by INXS. Yeah, the video might give you a clue or too about the joint of the day. Oh, well.

Chick of the Flick (North By Northwest)

Eva Marie Saint is an undeniably classic beauty in Hitchcock's thriller. Just exudes "blonde bombshell". Oh, and she's got talent. She's got an Oscar.

Song of the Flick (North By Northwest)

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah, so this movie was made in 1959. Not a lot of club bangers or sweet jams were hittin' the airwaves from the record players. So, I've decided to put up a song that not everyone knows about but is a track I've been listening to non-stop recently. The presitigious Gorilla Zoe and his profound single, I GOT IT:

NORTH BY NORTHWEST, Hitchcock's Best

All right, I know Alfred Hitchcock is not the most recent of all the filmmakers in the world. But, hey, the man's got a reputation as being one of the greatest artists of the 20th century. So respect is clearly due, even in this CG-filled and action-packed century we call the 21st. North By Northwest is regarded as one of the best film's ever made, and, having finally seen it last night, I'm incredibly inclined to agree. Granted, I haven't seen everything, but North By Northwest is up there for me. Cary Grant was the George Clooney of his time, in fact, they're eerily similar both in looks and style. Grant is extremely charismatic in the lead, shifting from a ladykilling ad-man to a fugitive on the run with incredible ease. The twists and turns in the movie cater perfectly the Grant's performance. Eva Marie Saint is the female lead, and her role is oft regarded as one of the most memorable leading roles. Hitchcock's direction with the clever and thrilling script is downright legendary, providing everything from huge shots to stress-inducing close-ups. Trust me, even if you were born in the '90's you'll enjoy this movie. You have to go with the expert here. I'm not an expert, but, the actual experts say you should this movie. I'm just here to tell you that with less fancy words.

Rating: CLASSIC TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick

Sienna Miller is unbelievably sexy in Layer Cake. I can't say anything else. The lady is an absolute fox.

Song of the Flick

Here's Joe Cocker with Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood, a spooky, slow-moving rock song that ties all of the themes of Layer Cake together. It's also a great song. The video shows a lot of images from the film and shows that Layer Cake is truly is as cool as advertise.

Layer Cake, A British Gangster Flick

Before Daniel Craig became the first blond Bond, he starred as a slick British gangster in Matthew Vaughn's gangster-thriller Layer Cake. Hardly anyone knows about this gem, as it is Britain's own version of popular American flicks like GoodFellas or Blow. The cast is full of the UK's biggest stars, such as Sienna Miller and Michael Gambon (of Albus Dumbledore fame). The title refers to the human social strata, especially in the British crime underworld, as well as the numerous plot layers in the film. It's high-paced and action packed, full of plot turns and twists with the lovely British banter that we Americans think is so witty. See this movie if you love action, violence, intelligence, and British bad-asses. Who doesn't love these things?

Rating: TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick

Wow. I give you, Minka Kelly. Granted, you have to look hard to find her in the movie, but she is so God damn hot. Derek Jeter, I hate your guts, but God damn it, I respect you.

Song of the Flick

Well, the caption on this particular YouTube video claims that this is arguably one of the greatest songs every written. That statement may seem utterly ridiculous, and it absolutely is, but There Is A Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths is definitely worth a listen. It also sparks the romance in the movie. How romantic.

500 Days of Summer, A Rom-Com Worth Seeing

Made in 2009.

It's sad when the majority of romantic comedies that hit the screens these days are at the standards of flicks like The Ugly Truth and All About Steve, but 500 Days of Summer provides a slight beacon of hope for rom-coms everywhere. Marc Webb takes helm of a clever script with two incredibly charming leads, Joseph Gordon-Leavitt (of 10 Things I Hate About You fame) and Zooey Deschanel (the "different" but beautiful girl), and creates a movie as funny as it is honest. Reality of modern relationships drives the film and the material never seems dry. The story progresses in a broken order, counting off the 500 days Gordon-Leavitt's character has with Summer (Deschanel), and sometimes it's tough to keep up, but the stars seem to align towards the end and everything makes sense. Romantic comedies aren't usually known to keep an audience in wonder, usually staying with the formula and giving the audience not a lot to think about. 500 Days of Summer is a different kind of joint that has the givens of making you laugh and making you cry, but what makes it stand out is its ability to make you think.

Rating:TIGHT JOINT

Chick of the Flick

Yes, Natalie Portman is ten times more beautiful than Ashley Judd. But, she's like ten years old in the movie. I'm gonna have to give you Ashley Judd. Cupping her breasts. Not bad. She's a babe in the film as the blonde wife of Val Kilmer. She's not terrible either; she usually kind of sucks.

Song of the Flick

HOUSE OF PAIN. Ahh, what a classic group. Yep, Michael Mann throws them in there sneakily in Pacino's club scene. A classic, JUMP AROUND by HOUSE OF PAIN.

HEAT, The Underrated Michael Mann Epic

Made in 1995.

This film is a brilliant one that too many people haven't seen. Michael Mann is mostly known for bringing his acclaimed television series Miami Vice to the big screen, and, most recently, for Public Enemies with Johnny Depp (see Enemies, avoid Vice). But his biggest accomplishment in the cinema world (just above Collateral, one of my favorites) is HEAT, an epic crime saga that takes place in Mann's favorite place in the world: Los Angeles. Every time I tell people about this flick, people are absolutely shocked that they haven't even heard of it. DeNiro. Pacino. These two larger-than-life actors share the screen for the first time ever together (never shared it in Godfather, remember) along with Val Kilmer, Ashley Judd, a young Natalie Portman, and Tom Sizemore. HEAT is a cool, intense, heist-thriller that pits Al Pacino as the detective devoted to crime against Robert DeNiro as the man who can't stay away from it. The heists are awesome, the dialogue is raw and natural, and the epic story-line provides a healthy running-time (just under three hours, flys by though). Bottom line: this is one hell of a movie that needs to be seen by every living, breathing male above the age of twelve, and should be seen by literally everybody else.

Rating:UNDERRATED TIGHT JOINT


By the way. When I say daily, I mean on the weekdays. Come on, now.

Chick of the Flick

I like this part of the blog a little bit more. That's right, the hottie of the movie I post will be plastered on the page. Vera Farmiga, not everyone's favorite, slutted it up in The Departed. She's sluttin' it up in this post.

Song of The Flick

This part of the whole shebang involves little things from each movie I post. For example, this post involves my favorite song from the movie's soundtrack. The Departed has an extremely famous soundtrack, and essentially put The Dropkick Murphys on every single pump-up playlist ever. I'm going the opposite way from the obvious. Gimme Shelter's my favorite from the film, the guitar riffs are hypnotic and Mick Jagger belts it.

Here it is, The Rolling Stones with Gimme Shelter:

THE DEPARTED: King of the Aughts

So here it is. The decision to end all decisions. THE motion picture of the decade, the film that should be watched before any film ever made from 2000-2009, the joint with the best acting, the flick with the best direction. Let the mental drumroll start in your head before you move your eyes from this line to the next....

Mr. Martin Scorcese's THE DEPARTED.



Yep, it's true. I watch this movie before anything that's been made in the last ten years, I've decided. And here's why:


ACTING: It's essentially an acting clinic on how to be the coolest, toughest, slimiest, Bostonian gang-bangers and Staties. We learn to love and pity Leonardo DiCaprio's character Billy Costigan, watching him torture himself so that he can give some sort of name to the dysfunctional Costigan family as a Massachusetts State Police Officer. Matt Damon's the ultimate scum-of-the-Earth type character, playing Colin Sullivan pitch-perfectly, making us kinda like the cowardly ass of a policeman he creates. Jack Nicholson is completely over-the-top, insane, and absolutely perfect for the role of Frank Costello. Cannot say more about that. Vera Farmiga's there as the Boston beauty, victimized by the rat-eat-rat atmospher Scorcese so gracefully develops.

DIRECTING: Martin Scorcese probably jumped for joy when he got his hands on Infernal Affairs, the Japanese mob movie of which The Departed is based, because he knew he could make it better. And American. Hurray for us. The film moves quick, the cuts are precise, everything fit just right. Way to go Marty.

STORY: Sure, William Monahan rips off some Japanese filmmakers, but he makes it fresh and absolutely awesome. So i forgive him. Every character is memorable, the story and location...I just can't say enough. And I loved the ending. Deal with it.

If you haven't seen this movie yet, kill yourself. No, don't. Just watch it, watch it again, watch it at least a hundred more times, and you will never get tired of it. I guarantee it.

(Obvious) RATING: TIGHT JOINT.